I detest clubs.

My standard rant: you go with a group of friends, end up losing half of them five minutes after you’re in the door, and spend the next 45 minutes in an alcohol-induced haze sifting through a sweaty crowd of people for a familiar face.

Granted, this isn’t everyone’s experience. I’ve just had a long string of very bad experiences. But last weekend I went to a club and actually ended up having a fairly good time. And while the club scene still isn’t my, well, scene, here are some things you can do to ensure a good time had by all.

Zen and the Art of Clubbing

Part of what made it a good night was the spontaneity of it all. One minute we were sitting around the apartment having a drink and the next, someone jumps up and says “let’s go to the club!” When something isn’t planned, there isn’t time to build up certain expectations of how the night should go. There will always be those events you plan to go to a month in advance, just remember to keep expectations to a minimum or you’ll end up disappointed. Whether it’s friends flopping, your outfit not looking right, or the music being crap, some things are just out of your control.

Mix It Up…

Sure, guys’ night out sounds great in theory; rolling “20 deep” into a club definitely will intimidate, but is that really why you’re at a club? It’s a social occasion, so be inclusive: partying with friends who just so happen to be girls can be just as — if not more — fun than just the guys. Last weekend a few ladies I know joined us and it definitely contributed to the positive experience. After all, a guy at a club partying with a group that includes a few girls looks far more approachable than the guy prowling the dance floor with a pack of his male friends in tow. Granted, the ladies I invited didn’t have the best time, but I’m assured that was no fault of mine.

…Speaking of Mixes

Look, let’s not pretend that alcohol isn’t a major part of club life. I don’t know very many people who go to a club entirely sober. This one is pretty simple and not all that new: don’t overdo it. If you’re going to save money by drinking before you arrive at the event, balance every drink with a glass of water. You’ll save yourself from embarrassment that night and a bad hangover the next day. It’s one of the tougher lessons to learn, but I’ve learned the hard way so you don’t have to (I hope).

Be Nice

If you’re trying to dance with someone, don’t take it personal if she’s not interested. It’s difficult to wrap your head around this concept, I know, but some girls just want to dance. It doesn’t matter how many times you try to sneak up behind her with your pelvis two feet out in front of your torso, you’re not going to change her mind. She’s not stuck up, she’s not a bitch, and she (probably) has nothing against you. Smile, shake her hand, tell her she looks pretty and move on. Positive energy breeds positive energy.

Have a good weekend, gentlemen.